


How Many Times?

by maderi



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Break Up Talk, Dorks in Love, Drama queens, Emotional Constipation, Emotionally Repressed, Grumpy Old Men, Happy Ending, Insecurity, M/M, Men Crying, Retirement, Rough Sex, Timeline What Timeline, Vanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 06:20:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17699237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maderi/pseuds/maderi
Summary: Gabriel is done.He's just.... done living like this.And Jack?Well, Jack is scared to death.





	How Many Times?

**Author's Note:**

> I word barfed... :3

Jack refused to turn his head, refused to get up from his position on all four. It had been like this since the day they discovered they’d survived the explosion. Their reunion had been just as explosive as the event that had ripped them away from each other. 

Thrusting harder, Gabriel squeezed his eyes shut as anger consumed him. They weren’t their old idealistic, beautiful selves anymore. Hadn’t been for many years now. 

Times had changed, sorrow had been their only guiding light towards their goal to avenge each other. Sometimes, when he really stopped to think, he didn’t know what he was doing anymore. 

Jack was in his arms once more, had been there for years now. But somehow they both found some reason to separate when the early rays of sunlight crept over their tired bodies. Sometimes, they didn’t even grant each other that much. 

A hard, unsatisfying fuck against an alley wall or inside old ruins was all they gave each other, before leaving each other behind once more. Grunting at the headache that was attacking his erection, Gabriel pulled out, grumbling to himself as he stepped out of the bed to pull his pants on. 

“I’m done, Jack.” He rasped to the other man still positioned on all fours on the bed. 

He waited half a minute before he zipped and buttoned up his pants. Guess Jack didn’t care one way or the other after all. Sighing deeply, Gabriel continued dressing, getting as far as putting his coat on before the gravel of Jack’s ruined voice broke the silence. 

“What would you have me do?” He asked, voice suspiciously wet and weak. 

It broke through Gabriel’s rage like a hot knife in butter. He didn’t want to turn around though, didn’t want to look at Jack one more time. Gabriel knew that if he did, he wouldn’t be strong enough to walk away. 

“What would you have me do, Gabriel?” Jack begged, voice wavering every other word. 

“We’ve done enough, Jack.” He grounds, putting it out there. “There is nothing left for us to do.”

His heart, or what remained of it, hurt more than the initial realization upon learning he was without his better half, that he’d failed to protect the love of his life. But no matter how much this decision hurt, he couldn’t keep going like this. 

Sombra had slowly been tapping into all his reserve funds for some years now and last month, she had emptied the last of them. He was assured to live a good life for many, many years to come when he retired. 

It had all started after the fifth time he’d met Jack again, after their fucking sessions. It had been the first time they had somewhere to sleep, the first time since their ‘deaths’ that they could hold each other all night long. 

They’d stayed like that, in each other's arms, until late morning. With his nose buried into the white tufts of hair left on Jack’s head, he’d decided that he would prepare for retirement. 

He’d found Jack alive, they found their way back to each other. Greeneyed and just as much in love as ever before, Gabriel had laid the plan. When they’d parted that morning, he’d contacted Sombra, asking her to do this job. 

But as the years went by, their relationship had stayed the same. Angry fucks in alleys or ruins, every now and then they’d have a room for a night. Jack had changed as time went by too. In the beginning, he’d let Gabriel hold him, they’d spent hours just staring into each other's eyes. Sometimes, they didn’t even fuck, kissing all night long, content to just be with each other. 

That stopped completely. Jack had started pulling away, no longer would he allow to be kissed. Then he didn’t want to be touched. And in the end, he didn’t want to even face Gabriel. 

Jack didn’t protest when Gabriel left the rundown motel room, didn’t say goodbye, didn’t care. Breathing deeply, Gabriel looked up into the clear dark night sky. The stars were glittering in the wast blue depths of the skies, the cold slowly seeping into his empty body. 

Something soft hit his head with a magnificent force. Perplexed for a moment, Gabriel turned slowly to see a very familiar glove on the ground. As a reflex he looked up, eyes meeting red-rimmed, watering blue ones. 

“So that’s it, huh Gabe?” Jack’s angry, wet gravel of a voice barked at him, eyebrows almost meeting in the middle to complete his scowl. 

“After all these years, after all that we’ve been through, you just up and leave all of a sudden?” Gabriel can see the angry tears rolling down Jack’s face. 

It’s obvious that Jack’s trying to be strong, to be brave, but it was all too clear to Gabriel’s eyes that the man before him was breaking apart. He’d seen this side of Jack once before, once when the UN had threatened to Court Marshall him after Blackwatch was exposed. 

He’d wanted to sacrifice himself to spare Jack the pain of seeing his husband being thrown under the bus. It had had the opposite effect though. Instead of understanding, Jack had raged like a teenage girl. Face pink with anger, tears streaming down his face as he lost all composure. 

They had been in the middle of a hall when Jack had caught sight of Gabriel. He’d had no time to react as the force of one shorned John Francis Morrison crashed into him full force, screaming angrily at the top of his lungs. All those years, Gabriel had believed that he’d been the dramatic one. 

But as Jack screamed his anger away, Gabriel had understood the seriousness of what he’d done. When Jack, pink with anger, face wet and nose snotty, had gone deathly silent, Gabriel had genuinely been afraid for the first time in his life. 

When Jack had tugged his wedding ring off of his finger and thrown it at Gabriel’s chest, it was if a freight train had hit him full force. The sound of the gold band hitting the floor was the loudest sound Gabriel had ever heard in his life. 

Palming his pocket, he could still feel the outline of his own wedding ring and for a second he wondered if Jack still had his own ring. 

“Silence? Dead silence huh?” Jack spits. He’s gone deadly silent again, voice deprived of any emotion, an empty shell. 

And Gabriel, Gabriel is unable to say anything at all. He’s helpless, just standing there staring at his husband. Were they still husbands, still married? Theoretically, they were both buried as husbands. 

“Does this really mean so little to you?” Jack cracks, voice breaking and betraying how truly affected he was. 

Gabriel hear loud and clear what it is Jack is asking about. ‘Do I really mean that little to you?’ Gabriel knows the answer like his heart knows how to beat, but no matter how hard he tries, he’s unable to voice it. 

“Heh...” Jack laughs, voice the coldest Gabriel has ever heard it. “Guess I was just a warm place to dip your dick in then.”

The words Jack is saying makes anger flare inside Gabriel, he’s hurt, he’s insulted, he’s unable to follow Jack’s reasoning. Removing his mask, Gabriel scowls at Jack, growling deeply as his teeth grind together in anger. 

“A warm place to dip my dick in?” Gabriel rasps. 

“Well fuck you, John Francis Morrison. Fuck you and your corn-fed white ass.” The bubble of hurt bursts before Gabriel’s able to rail in his anger. 

The screaming that follows could only be described as a catfight. They both aim to hurt each other, to strike where they’ll never be able to recover. It is the worst fight they’ve ever had in their long relationship. 

It all falls to dead silence when Jack deflates, fresh, fat tears rolling angrily down his pink cheeks. He takes a step back, biting his lip to stop it from quivering. 

“How many times should I roll over for you, Gabriel?” Jack used his full name. 

“How many times must I clean up alone before limping away....?”

“How many times were you planning to leave me, Gabriel?” Jack croaks brokenly.

“How many times...-” Jack’s unable to finish his question, falling down to a squat, curling in on himself.

The questions make Gabriel pause. Through all his anger, Jack’s questions penetrate the river of words flying around in his head. It all comes to a stop as they register. 

Picking Jack up from the ground, he’s unsurprised to feel Jack’s head lolling onto his shoulder, strong capable arms tentatively curling around his neck. When they reach the room, Gabriel carries them over to the rumpled bed, cursing the smell of sex in the air. 

It was the first time Gabriel had been in this position. Usually, it had been Jack carrying a crying Gabriel to their bed or the office couch. He’d always been the stronger of the two, always been the one in more control of his emotions. 

To see Jack curled in on himself, stealing what support he could get from Gabriel, was eye-opening to him. He knew Jack had a soft side, it had been his companion for the better part of his life. But he’d never once experienced this side of Jack. 

Had he spared Gabriel the emotional challenge all these years? As they sat there in silence, holding onto each other, Gabriel thought through every time he’d seen Jack cry and how he’d always seemed to be alright after talking about the problem. 

He was at a loss for words now though. As Jack’s sobbing and breathing evened out, Gabriel sat there, holding onto his heart until the morning sunlight bathed them in a warm hue once more. 

Stirring slightly in his arms, Jack opened his blue eyes to stare blearily around. Confusion was evident in the other man’s eyes. Leaning down to kiss the top of Jack’s head, Gabriel leaned back to see the display of confusion play across Jack’s face. 

The last time they had a morning like this, was the last day they’d officially been alive. Gabriel didn’t even want to think about the years wasted on being ignorant. 

“Talk to me, Jackie.” Gabriel whispers into the white tuft of hair. 

The silence stretches on, minutes passing by as Jack try his best to sort through his thoughts. Gabriel is in no hurry though, he’ll wait until Jack is ready to open up. Curling his arms tighter around Jack’s massive body, Gabriel rests his chin on top of Jack’s Head. It seems to do the trick as a short time later, Jack relax in his embrace, one big hand fisted in Gabriel’s coat.

“Wh-what are your plans with me?” Jack’s voice croak. 

“Honesty is hard, Jackie.” Gabriel replies slowly. 

“Honesty is everything we have left, Gabe.” 

“Touchè, Francis.” Gabriel smiles into Jack’s hair. 

“Don’t call me that.” Jack grumbles. 

The quiet surround them once more, but this time, the air between them feels lighter, like the anger they felt had somehow evaporated. 

“Gabrie...-” Jack starts softly, but is interrupted by Gabriel grabbing his fisted hand, holding onto it, protecting it from the outside world. 

“When we met again, I was angry. So relieved to see that you were alive, but furious that you hadn’t looked for me.” Gabriel started, shushing Jack when he opens his mouth to protest. 

“I know better now, Jackie.” He assured. “When we spent the night together, I was twenty-four all over again, completely head over heels. I made plans and set them into action.” Honesty was proving to be a difficult mistress. 

“But somewhere along the road, our interactions changed. In the end, I wasn’t allowed to kiss you, to hold you, to even see you. You pulled away from me and every time you did, you took a little piece of me with you, until there was nothing left.” Gabriel explained as carefully as he could. 

“I had planned a future for us, a way out, to live the rest of our lives together.” He finished, biting his lip as the silence stretched on. 

Jack didn’t say a word for a long, long time. The anticipation was wearing Gabriel down, pulling the last of his emotional strength to not fall apart at Jack’s mercy. He’s reluctant to let go of him when Jack moves to sit cross-legged in front of him instead. 

Shy blue eyes look into his not quite human brown ones, the red rims having calmed down enough to only leave a puffy, sleepy look. Jack is afraid, is afraid of Gabriel or whatever his next words will cause Gabriel to do. Taking Jack’s hands in his own, he tries his best to reassure Jack that whatever it is, he’ll support Jack’s choice. 

“Just look at me, Gabe.” Jack whispers almost inaudibly.

Gabriel doesn’t understand what Jack is saying though. Looking at Jack, Gabriel’s eyes wander bewildered, trying to see what it is that Jack is referring to. After a minute of silence, Jack’s eyebrows furrow into a deep scowl. 

“I’m ugly, Gabe. I’m damaged goods and you deserve better.” He finally bites out, voice dripping with venom. 

Gabriel is unable to hold in the surprised laugh that escapes his lips. He’s both relieved and worried to learn that the reason for Jack pulling away, had been his own vanity. When Jack saw the reflection of himself, he didn’t see the strikingly beautiful man he used to be anymore. 

Two deep scars marred his face, one of them slicing through his beautiful cupid lips. His hair had resided something fiercely, his thick flop of hair now thin, white tufts. But to Gabriel, Jack was still the most beautiful man that walked on this godforsaken earth. 

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly a looker myself. You know, being dead and all kind of ruin the devastatingly, boyish good looks that I always had.” The slap to Gabriel’s chest surprise him, but shortly after, he can see Jack’s lips turn up into a smile. 

“There’s my sunshine.” Gabriel coos, fingers lifting Jack’s chin. 

“To me, you are the most beautiful man in this world. To me, you are the only person I want. Always has been, always will be.” Gabriel whispers as their foreheads meet, eyes staring deeply into each other. 

“Can I?” He asks Jack, holding his breath in hopes that Jack won’t deny him. 

He doesn’t have to wait long for Jack’s reply. Trembling, dry lips meet his, a desperately pathetic sound escaping Jack’s lips as he instantly deepens the kiss. Gabriel isn’t far behind him, though he tries his best to slow Jack down. 

It seems like once Jack had been reassured that he was still beautiful, that he was still good enough for Gabriel, his little emotional bubble burst. Jack was on him like a skeeter in a blood bank. Every emotion he’d been holding back on rushed forth all at once. 

Breaking the kiss, Gabriel smiled. He’d feared the worst when he left the motel room earlier that morning, had feared that he had seen Jack for the last time in his life. The reality of what this meant didn’t sink in before the following night. 

Making love to his husband, not just fucking, but soul felt lovemaking, it changed everything. Their echoing words of love and devotion repeated into the wee morning hours and when the rays of early morning came around again, the Soldier and the Reaper had been seen for the very last time. 

~ End


End file.
